


Before Sam found him. (I won't let him near you parallel)

by shadow_bright_shine



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Abuse of Power, Emotional Manipulation, Exiled TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Gen, Hallucinations, Manipulative Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Sad, Touch-Starved, possible gore, useage of potions as medication
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:54:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29988690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadow_bright_shine/pseuds/shadow_bright_shine
Summary: The memories of Tommy, but separate. First chapter is from my work I won't let him near you. I realized I needed more of this. This is canon the story and is more focused on expanding the background without interrupting the story. I hope you enjoy and any suggestions are very welcome.
Kudos: 18





	1. Flying, I'm finally free.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry I changed everything. I realized I could put everything here instead.

A tight grip on his shoulder snapped him out of his thoughts. Dream was standing behind him, looking over the sea. "No hello?" 

Tommy blinked, scrambling to get the armor off as he smiled. "Sorry-sorry just distracted it's fine, here-here Hi Dream!" He forced his voice to be cheerful. "Any plans for today?" Please say yes, please he was losing his mind in the silence. 

The mask kept him from seeing what Dream was thinking. "Good job remembering!" He tossed the armor into a hole causally, a lit stick of tnt following. The boom still made Tommy flinch. he hoped Dream hadn't noticed. "Well I actually did have an idea. Have you ever used a trident before?" He held up a sparkling weapon, the enchantments casting a purple glow over the sand. It was mesmerizing how the lights shifted on it. Tommy shook himself, trying not to rip it out of Dream's hand to get a better look. He'd never seen one this close up before. It was beautiful. His hands twitched. 

Dream put a hand out to stop him. "We ask first." He chided.

"Sorry! Can I please hold that? I mean it's just-it looks so cool I just, can I, please?" Tommy stuttered, unable to pull his attention away from the glittering item. It was like it was begging him to take it and hide it away where he could keep it forever. 

"Yes Tommy, you can hold this. Thank you for asking." Dream held out the trident, but it was out of his hands before he'd even finished uncurling his fingers around the handle. "Eager to see it?" There was a smile in his voice. 

Tommy didn't answer, running a hand over the point. It was sharp, you could bring down just about anything if you hit something right with it. He ignored the small cut he'd gotten on his finger from it. He didn't notice the little ones anymore. It was so different from anything he'd seen in a long time. It reminded him of watching Technoblade fly around with one, he had been so graceful, like he'd been the one with wings instead of Phil. It had been like watching a dancer, but the dancing was above him. "N-no, I mean yes, yeah...You, you don't want it back do you?" Tommy hoped the answer was no. This was so amazing, he could feel the enchantments vibrating inside him. He felt stronger then he had all week. 

Dream paused, mask turning to better face him. He seemed to think something over. "Well I was going to use it get home, but I suppose if you really want to play with it for a bit, I could stay here. Supervise you and all?" 

"Yes! Yes yes thank you!! Does this mean- can I- please Dream can I-" Tommy beamed, gripping the handle tightly. "Can I fly?" He was almost vibrating with excitement, eyes brighter then they had been in weeks. "Please?" 

"Well, I don't see a reason to say no, why not?" He stopped himself, gripping Tommy's shoulder again. "As long as you aren't going to try and fly back to Tubbo and everyone else who left you here alone. You wouldn't do that would you?" The question felt more like a threat. Tommy's hands shook violently, though not from the grip on him.

He shook his head quickly. "No no of course not! I won't I promise please don't take it, I won't go back, really just let me try it please Dream please?" He looked around the empty beach, he needed something, anything. He needed this, he couldn't risk losing the trident so soon. "I won't try to leave you, promise." 

"Good! Then of course you can fly with it. Here give it to me for a second I'll show you how to use it." Dream was happy again, good. He didn't think he could make it through another angry outburst like yesterday without falling apart. He didn't want to do that.

Tommy reluctantly gave him the trident. he tried to assure himself Dream would give it back. He wanted it so badly, it said freedom. Freedom to fly. He wanted to fly so, so much. It made his chest hurt. "O-ok, so how do you use it?" He stood next to Dream. 

Dream paused. "Alright, now you hold tight to the hilt got it? If you slip in the air there's no stopping the fall. Now some people ride it like a broomstick. Don't, it just leads to a lot of pain, also you lose control over the direction." He kept talking, describing different ways people flew with tridents. He sounded like a different person, full of energy. Tommy nodded along, grinning at the unusual behavior. He must have been in a good mood today. It was nice, he must have done something right. 

"Got it! Can I try now?" Tommy looked at him, hopeful. Dream nodded and put the trident into his hands. "Thanks!!" 

Tommy knelt in the water, bracing himself for the sudden change in velocity. Gripping the trident he aimed for the sky. A soft rain had started to pour down on them. He knew what that meant. Taking a deep breath he charged the weapon. 

It hummed with power, the magic flowing through his fingers into him. His hands steadied, focus returning. He felt like he could do anything, with another breath he let the charge out. Suddenly he was flying through the air, higher then he'd ever been before. He felt himself start falling, charging the trident again. He was tossed back up into the sky. The wind was rushing past him, water soaking him through. He was flying! 

It felt like someone had removed the weight holding him down for so long, he was free. He shouted with pure joy, almost letting go completely to stretch out his arms. He wasn't tied down anymore. The power thrummed inside his chest, pushing him farther. He whooped, going even higher. He broke through the clouds. Night had fallen, the stars were surrounding him. They cheered him on, calling; 

' _Higher! Come on Tommy we're waiting for you! You're almost there just a bit farther we're ready for you! You're free, you don't have to stay there anymore, come on! Hurry just a bit closer! You're free, you're free Tommy!_ '

"I know! I know I'm free I'm coming just a second!" He shouted, tears from the high speeds falling far below him. He was being carried by his father, holding him tightly as he flew over the ocean, Phil wouldn't let go. He was safe. Everything was alright now. He was free to fly with the stars. He'd never have to worry about anything ever again. "Hold on I'm almost there everyone!" He called back joyfully. He was finally free. The moon shone before him, the light bathing him in its glow. 

' _Just a bit higher! You're almost here can you see me?_ ' Was the moon the one calling him? Had she been the one comforting him all these months?

"I can! I can I knew you cared about me I'm coming!" He yelled, charging the trident more fully then he had before. The power surged through him, crackling around him. Lightning was sparking from his body, the electric energy sending him soaring up, up into freedom. He grinned as widely as he could. The arc of the shot hit its peak. He was in freefall for a second. He was weightless, no he was being held by his comforter. The light had become solid, catching him. He was finally safe. No more explosions, no more violence. No more blood. He couldn't hurt anyone ever again. 

' _I got you Tommy, you're free._ ' The song he'd heard a hundred times played through his head. It filled his mind, reassuring him that had was safe. He felt empty save for the music that echoed all around him, a good kind of empty. The world went black as he closed his eyes, content to fall into the arms of the moon. The wind whipped past him, but he didn't care. "Thank you, I love you Clara." He whispered to the moon. ' _I love you more then the water below and skies around us._ ' Everything was finally ok. He felt the embrace, it felt so good, he missed it. He missed being hugged without fearing for his life. Without trying to stop someone from hurting him further. For once he was sure this embrace didn't have anything attached. No strings to bind him, choke him. It was just as freeing as the flight. More freeing, his emotions were free too. He was starving for it, he needed someone to reassure him he was ok. He needed someone to care. He was desperate for anything, even Dream's touch felt amazing compared to the emptiness he felt inside. He was content to take whatever was given if it meant someone would just take his hand. Anything, just don't leave him alone with his thoughts. Any kind of touch, he just needed to know the person talking to him was real at all. His hallucinations didn't touch him. 

' _Just hold on, you're almost free._ ' He knew she wouldn't hurt him. Tommy was safe. He thought he was going to fall asleep in her arms. The world spun under him, he could feel it in the air rushing by his head as he drifted. Everything felt like it was covered in a warmth he hadn't experienced in years. He could relax, he wasn't needed to make a decision, or fight in a war. He didn't even need to hide his feelings. There was more peace inside of him then he had ever felt before. 

"Tha-" Darkness. Everything stopped.

Someone was yelling. "Tommy!-up-Don't die-I sti-wake..." It didn't make any sense. Where was Clara? "Tommy! Wake up you can't die yet I still need you!" Who was that? Clara? Where had she gone? "Tommy!" Dream? 

Everything felt dead around him, like he'd been struck out of her arms into a nightmare. This had to be a nightmare he was free! "D..." He could talk, sort of. Something was holding him down. "...Dream?" 

"Prime Tommy what the hell were you thinking going that high up you could have killed yourself like that!" Too many words, they were falling around him instead of going into his head. "Never do that again hear me!? You almost died hitting the water if I hadn't been watching for you to come back out of the clouds you'd have shattered to pieces on impact! Tommy are listening to me?" 

He needed to stop talking so Tommy could find Clara. She must have gotten hurt in the crash! "C-Cla..." He coughed, why wasn't the thing letting go of him? He couldn't move. "Wh...can't..." 

"What were you even doing? You didn't even try to slow the fall did you want to die or something?" It was dark because he hadn't opened his eyes yet. Why couldn't he get them to open? "You were so careless! You gave me a heart attack!" Had he hurt Dream somehow? That wasn't good. "Tommy?" 

Tommy breathed, "Can't feel anything." He couldn't see anything either. 

"I gave you some potions, if you weren't full of magic right now you'd probably die of shock. I swear Tommy this is why you need me. What were you thinking?" 

He hadn't been thinking, he'd been free. "I...Clara was taking me home." She had to have been ripped away from him by whatever had hurt him. "Where, where is she? Is she hurt? She'd never have let go if something didn't pull us apart."

"Who the, what, who's Clara? You're delirious I need to get you inside. Should have checked for a fever, you're obviously sick talking like that. Altitude maybe, or lack of air that far up. You'll need me to stay here for a few days won't you." Dream rambled on, he didn't do that much anymore. 

"I think so? Can you find her for me? I need her, she must be hurt too." Tommy felt heavy, his mind was slow, he felt like he was floating. Was he still in the sky? Something was put to his mouth. 

"Drink this, you need to sleep. I'll figure out what to do with you in a few hours." Dream was carrying him. He wished distantly that he could feel it. "It's a...this is a game we can play, Simon says. Simon says drink the potion."

"Ok Dream..." He swallowed the liquid, it felt nice. He giggled tiredly at the odd sensation spreading through his body, he felt dull, something was pulling him down.He felt warm in his friends arms. "g...goodnight..." 

"Sleep." 


	2. Hello...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something shorter after the 3000+ word chapters I write in the main fic. It's 12 in the morning and I can't sleep, so Instead I'm writing about someone who is.

Tommy lay on the bed, looking out the window. The curtains covered most of it, making the light filtering through feel distant. He closed his eyes and pushed himself farther into the blanket. It was softer then usual... 

' _Tommy, oh Tommy are you alright? I was torn away. My Tommy I'm sorry._ ' 

" 's ok...tired..." 

' _Sleep for now, heal. I'll watch over you child.'_

"kay..." 

Everything felt soft, dulled. The colors were muted and felt, calmer. Tommy drifted between dreams and reality, people coming and going in his vision. Sometimes they would talk to him, other times they just sat and watched him quietly. Dream sat by him through it, saying things he couldn't understand. He said them in a nice voice though, so they had to be good things. He floated through space, Clara's song pulling him away from the room to the galaxies under her feet. They danced there, her hair intertwined with stars and planets that spun and shone all on their own. He had stars in his hair too, they glowed a bright blue, while hers were all sorts of colors. "Don't worry now, I won't let them hurt you. If you ever need me come to me, I can help you Tommy." 

"But, what if I can't find you? Dream says..." 

"Dream doesn't control me. I will always be there for you." 

"he says you're not real Clara...that I made you up." 

"Do I feel made up?" She took his hand. "See now, I'm right here." 

Tommy hugged her tightly, the stars in her hair warming his skin as it floated around them. She felt like home, like waking up after a bad dream and the relief of knowing none of it was real. Like the grass he would run his hand over to remind himself he was alive. She held him as they drifted through the vast darkness, shining with a thousand stars to light up their path. 

"Rest child. You are safe, with me."


	3. "Couple therapy".

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OOps!! Wrong work sorry, I don't know how to delete this so this is actually for my other work, the original. sorry everyone. I guess this is just a duplicate then...

"Alright, welcome to group therapy, well we only have two today." Purpled sat on a magenta couch across from Ranboo and Tubbo. "Quackity and Fundy said they had something planned today. Connor has been missing for a few weeks, and Eret had royal duties to attend to so today it'll just be us three. Tubbo I'm surprised to see you, but you are welcome nonetheless." Purpled smiled at the two, offering a scone to Ranboo. 

Tubbo sighed, leaning on Ranboo and throwing his legs over the other couch arm. "Trust me I didn't wanna come." 

Ranboo patted his shoulder. "I told him if he came with me today I would buy him some cream puffs from the bakery." He took the scone and bit into it, smiling. "Anyway, there's been a few...new issues I figured needed attention. Right Tubs?" He nudged Tubbo.

"No clue what you're talking about boo. I'm doing fine thanks." He shifted, looking away from Purpled. "It's not really a problem." 

Purpled exchanged a glace with Ranboo. "Well if you aren't comfortable sharing we can start with Ranboo. I was wondering about your enderwalking. Has that changed since our last visit?" 

"Getting better actually! Well I think, I started tying my arm to the bed...I think it's working though! I haven't woken up in my panic room, or outside, or in other people's houses...or in craters...or...you get the idea." He smiled sheepishly, glancing at Tubbo. Tubbo sat up, taking a scone and staying quiet. "Not the most comfortable, but I think it's worth it."

"That's good! Sounds like you're getting that under control, we'll figure out a more permanent solution in the future." Purpled grinned, "I heard about, well actually for now let's focus on another issue. Ranboo you said last time that you were living in the hotel. Have you sorted out that yet?" 

Ranboo nodded, putting an arm around Tubbo. "I live with Tubbo now, we finished my floor not too long ago actually. We made it so I had a ladder down, harder for me to accidentally wander out of the house." He winced. "Before we came up with the tying thing I fell down the hole. Tubbo was so confused when I came crashing down the ladder." He rubbed his leg. "Still a bit sore from that." 

"I was so scared at first, I thought someone had broken in and was gonna rob us or something." Tubbo finally spoke up. "I wake up and see boo all confused and looking around. He got knocked back into himself or someth'n." He laughed. "So I asked him what happened, and he said, he said 'I guess my other half should look where it's going!" 

"I did say that yes." 

Purpled laughed too, putting the plate down on the table between them. "Glad you figured out how to avoid that."

Tubbo paused, looking over at Purpled. He looked away shifting his seat. "Yeah...I think I should go, Michael probably needs me." 

Ranboo put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. "Don't worry Tubs we left him with Nikki remember? Michael is fine." 

"I should still check on him, I mean a little kid needs to see his dad right? Really I should go-" 

"Sit down Tubbo, we can't go to the bakery if you don't actually talk." Ranboo gave him a sympathetic look. "I get you don't like this, but you can't hold all this in all the time. It's affecting your health. I don't like seeing you in pain." 

Tubbo looked at him a second. He sighed and flopped down on the couch, quietly taking his hand. "Fineee, I got blown up a bit ago. It was scary, and I was really afraid and I got flashbacks to my second death." He admitted, looking out the window. "I...I couldn't see, and I'm too scared to talk to Tommy. I told Sam that I was busy and I haven't seen him for like a week and a half." 

Purpled sat and thought over the information. "I remember the...incident with your death. Ranboo says you've been dealing with that for awhile. I'm glad you told me all of that Tubbo." 

"Yeah sure can we go now? I did the thing, he said the stuff everything's cool now right?" Tubbo said hurriedly, standing and pulling on Ranboo's suit sleeve. "I wanna go home now." 

"Tubs, I still have my session remember? Plus I filled out a full time, and I'm not letting you say a few surface words and pretend that counts." Ranboo pulled him back onto the couch. "Come on."

"Legggss I don't wanna do this anymore." 

"Horns I got you here, and you can't just ignore your problems!"

"If he isn't comfortable with sharing more, he can always come back another time. I have plenty of time to listen." Purpled interrupted. "I think the fact Tubbo said anything shows progress. He can always sit in with us another time if he's uncomfortable with sharing right now."

Ranboo looked at him, glancing at Tubbo. "You know that's a really good idea." 

Tubbo groaned. "More therapy? Ranboo I don't want to come with you to therapy I have stuff to do!" 

"Says the guy who tags along with me when I go mining because he's bored." 

"Hey!"

Purpled interrupted again. "I think we may want to take a short break. Tubbo why don't you go check on Dogchamp? Ranboo we can continue while he looks after my dog." 

Tubbo shot up, nodding. "Yes! Yes I'll do that, see ya later boo!" He ran out of the room, calling for Purpled's pet.

Now alone, Ranboo looked at Purpled coldly. "You have no clue how long it took me to get him here. Why didn't you make him say anything?"

"Well therapy is about trusting someone with what you say. Did it look like Tubbo trusted me? All it would have done is make him uncomfortable, and he's just starting out. Foundation is important. Remember when Fundy started coming?" He replied, leaning back on the couch. Ranboo sighed, glancing at the dent still in the wall. 

"Yeah...That was a mess. Still I wish you had gotten farther with him."

"Couple's therapy is tough isn't it?" 

Ranboo laughed. "Purpled, that's Quackity's thing, we're not scheduled until next month." 

He smiled. "Couldn't resist. Now...How has your face been doing?" 

Ranboo's smile faded. "It's not as bad. I had...an episode the night after Tubbo went blind again."

"Did you tell him?" 

"Sort of? He asked about the marks under my eyes and I explained the whole Enderman thing." Ranboo sighed. "I don't like talking about what happens when I cry." 

"You should be more open with him. Lead by example." 

"I know...I'll tell him tonight. You're right I can't claim to want open communication and then not tell Tubbo about how, how whenever I cry it starts an endless chain of the pain making me cry more, and that hurting me because whatever other half I am cries water tears instead of whatever Endermen cry. That I can't stop until I pass out from the pain-... I'm scared he might act differently around me if I explain it." Ranboo vented, crossing his legs. "Tubbo is happy, or he seems happier lately, and I don't want to add this to the pile." 

"Can I say something?" Purpled asked after he'd finished. Ranboo nodded. "I've noticed that none of you want to burden each other. I hear it over and over in these meetings. Not just yours, but all around the place people don't want to pile on their problems with someone else's. However, in my opinion that is part of the problem itself. No one talks about their problems because they don't want to burden anyone else." 

Ranboo thought about it. "You know for someone our age you're smarter then half the adults around here." He laughed. "How did we get like this? You should be at school studying to be a professional therapist, not counseling us because we have PTSD from all the wars. Tubbo should be training as a beekeeper like he wanted. Tommy... I don't know what Tommy wanted to do, it had to be something." Ranboo sank down in his seat, sighing. "Whatever it was I wanted to do I forgot ages ago. Now I guess I would probably be working in a shop? Maybe run an aviary with Tubbo. Building sounds nice. I could do that maybe?" 

Purpled glanced away. "Well, looking at what could have been doesn't change the now." He said quietly, sounding slightly sad. "Whatever we were going to do, it isn't what we have now. I'm happy with what I do here, official license or not. I have the books and experience, just not the degree...or the income. The fact that I'm helping you guys is why I wanted to do this in the first place." 

"Yeah...Well I'm glad you still have us over. Things get pretty hectic when anyone new comes along. Wonder who's next. Thanks for listening by the way. Honestly I think that's all for this week. I'll try to pull Tubbo with me next time. Who knows, maybe more people around will help him open up a bit." Ranboo stood, almost tripping over the coffee table. He left a few gold pieces behind him, walking out the door. Purpled smiled, picking up the payment. 

"Goodbye!"

"See ya Purpled, Tubbo come on, we're heading to Nikki's place to get Michael and pick up some food." 


End file.
